Jesus Christ, it never ends.
"Cheer Captain" wobbles again.
It's such a pain in the ass when he feels the need to think.
First, let me tell you that you should always have grave doubts about any man who's been a cheerleader at any time in his life. What does that really say about him?
After all, "Cheerleader" is just French for "big pussy."
No real man would ever be caught dead in a cheerleader outfit.
John Wayne?
Spinning in his grave right now just from the very thought.
Clint Eastwood?
In what world do you live?
Tom Selleck?
Only if Magnum is undercover.
Me?
Not likely, my friend. Not likely.
Male cheerleaders stand as singularly fucked-up human beings. Many of them spectacularly so.
I find it bothersome that the uber-manly state of Texas' last two governors were both cheerleaders - male cheerleaders. The first was a 'fuck up - move up' kind of guy and the other's a queer who ends up blowing his secretary of state on theclosed circuit video in the governor's mansion.
Jesus.
That really shoots a goddamn hole through some perceptions I held near and dear, I'll tell you.
I didn't know Brokeback Mountain was in Texas.
(Heh, heh - now that was a good one. I'll have to remember to crack that one around "Cheer Captain" some time.)
Real men fuck cheerleaders - girl cheerleaders, not men cheerleaders - girls like Kay Bailey Hutchinson. Boy, there's a piece of ass who let's the old Dickster know in no uncertain terms what's cooking, if you know what I mean. I'd like to see her do the splits on 'Big Boy.'
Rah, rah.
I suppose real men are rare around these parts, but those of us who are get action - big time.
Instructions:
1. Prepare potatoes according to package directions. Stir in cheese, milk and salt and pepper as desired; keep warm.
2. Meanwhile remove pot roast from package. Transfer gravy to 2-quart microwave-safe casserole. Stir in mustard. Cut pot roast into 1-inch pieces. Combine beef with gravy mixture. Cover and microwave on HIGH 6 to 9 minutes or until hot, stirring once.
3. Transfer beef mixture to platter; spoon potatoes around beef. Sprinkle with onions and parsley.
Makes 4 servings
Note: If you have a pacemaker, stand away from the microwave when cooking this motherfucker. I was enjoying the delicious aroma emitting from my Westinghouse machine, got a little too close for too long and the next thing I know, Dr. Mandingo's coming at me with those goddamn electric paddles.
"Cheer Captain" wobbles again.
It's such a pain in the ass when he feels the need to think.
First, let me tell you that you should always have grave doubts about any man who's been a cheerleader at any time in his life. What does that really say about him?
After all, "Cheerleader" is just French for "big pussy."
No real man would ever be caught dead in a cheerleader outfit.
John Wayne?
Spinning in his grave right now just from the very thought.
Clint Eastwood?
In what world do you live?
Tom Selleck?
Only if Magnum is undercover.
Me?
Not likely, my friend. Not likely.
Male cheerleaders stand as singularly fucked-up human beings. Many of them spectacularly so.
I find it bothersome that the uber-manly state of Texas' last two governors were both cheerleaders - male cheerleaders. The first was a 'fuck up - move up' kind of guy and the other's a queer who ends up blowing his secretary of state on theclosed circuit video in the governor's mansion.
Jesus.
That really shoots a goddamn hole through some perceptions I held near and dear, I'll tell you.
I didn't know Brokeback Mountain was in Texas.
(Heh, heh - now that was a good one. I'll have to remember to crack that one around "Cheer Captain" some time.)
Real men fuck cheerleaders - girl cheerleaders, not men cheerleaders - girls like Kay Bailey Hutchinson. Boy, there's a piece of ass who let's the old Dickster know in no uncertain terms what's cooking, if you know what I mean. I'd like to see her do the splits on 'Big Boy.'
Rah, rah.
I suppose real men are rare around these parts, but those of us who are get action - big time.
Believe me.
Being manly is nothing less than a license to intimidate. You should watch the fuckers cower when I walk through a room. Feels goddamn good. Hell, my manliness permeates so that even my daughter is more macho than most of the limp-wristed cocksuckers around here. Hell, because of my super-testosterone even she bangs chicks.
What does that tell you about my manliness?
Well, back to the wobble - oh, shit - I'm not even going to get into it. Dr. Mandingo says not to get worked up. We'll get the "Cheer Captain" straightened out again, but many more of these missteps and he'll find himself "stepping aside" to overcome the 'tremendous personal strain' he's been under lately. Hell, if I left an ounce of blow in his office, he'd be pissing off the White House roof naked within the fucking hour. Lots of options here - lots. Don't think I'm not calculating every possible angle - martial law, suspension of the constitution - gives me a hard-on just thinking about it.
Alright, to the recipe - Jeanne Kirkpatrick made this for us one Sunday back in 1987. I told her it was an awesome piece of fucking beef and asked for the recipe.
Being manly is nothing less than a license to intimidate. You should watch the fuckers cower when I walk through a room. Feels goddamn good. Hell, my manliness permeates so that even my daughter is more macho than most of the limp-wristed cocksuckers around here. Hell, because of my super-testosterone even she bangs chicks.
What does that tell you about my manliness?
Well, back to the wobble - oh, shit - I'm not even going to get into it. Dr. Mandingo says not to get worked up. We'll get the "Cheer Captain" straightened out again, but many more of these missteps and he'll find himself "stepping aside" to overcome the 'tremendous personal strain' he's been under lately. Hell, if I left an ounce of blow in his office, he'd be pissing off the White House roof naked within the fucking hour. Lots of options here - lots. Don't think I'm not calculating every possible angle - martial law, suspension of the constitution - gives me a hard-on just thinking about it.
Alright, to the recipe - Jeanne Kirkpatrick made this for us one Sunday back in 1987. I told her it was an awesome piece of fucking beef and asked for the recipe.
From her lips to yours... RIP, baby.
Jeanne Kirkpatrick's
American Beef Pot Roast and Cheesy Mashed Potatoes
Ingredients:
1 package (1-3/4 to 2-1/2 pounds) refrigerated fully-cooked boneless beef pot roast with gravy
1 package (16 to 20 ounces) refrigerated or frozen ready-to-eat mashed potatoes
1/3 cup crumbled blue cheese
1 tablespoon milk
Salt and pepper
1 teaspoon coarse-grain or Dijon-style mustard
3/4 cup canned Cheddar-flavored French-fried onions
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
1 package (1-3/4 to 2-1/2 pounds) refrigerated fully-cooked boneless beef pot roast with gravy
1 package (16 to 20 ounces) refrigerated or frozen ready-to-eat mashed potatoes
1/3 cup crumbled blue cheese
1 tablespoon milk
Salt and pepper
1 teaspoon coarse-grain or Dijon-style mustard
3/4 cup canned Cheddar-flavored French-fried onions
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
Instructions:
1. Prepare potatoes according to package directions. Stir in cheese, milk and salt and pepper as desired; keep warm.
2. Meanwhile remove pot roast from package. Transfer gravy to 2-quart microwave-safe casserole. Stir in mustard. Cut pot roast into 1-inch pieces. Combine beef with gravy mixture. Cover and microwave on HIGH 6 to 9 minutes or until hot, stirring once.
3. Transfer beef mixture to platter; spoon potatoes around beef. Sprinkle with onions and parsley.
Makes 4 servings
Note: If you have a pacemaker, stand away from the microwave when cooking this motherfucker. I was enjoying the delicious aroma emitting from my Westinghouse machine, got a little too close for too long and the next thing I know, Dr. Mandingo's coming at me with those goddamn electric paddles.
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