The cocksuckers really try to bring you down, don't they?
Are we running the last superpower on Earth here or a goddamned day spa? Now the Ds are back and it's all "constitutional rights" this and "habeus corpus" that. It's enough to shoot your goddamned blood pressure through the fucking roof.
It did mine.
Not that there's really anything to worry about.
The war?
Fucking piece of cake.
Economy?
Steamroller.
Republican Party?
Never fucking stronger.
As a matter of fact, I should have sixteen year old virgins walking before me throwing rose petals. Let me jot this down...
So the fucking doctors told me to find something to relieve the stress - the common, everyday stress that we all face from time to time.
"What do you like to do?" they asked.
"Rule with an iron fist."
"Too stressful," they say.
"Shoot."
"No way," say my boys in the Secret Service.
"Something to relax - really get into your own head and chill a bit," the Black guy doctor who's married to the white woman says.
Hey, I "chill" plenty, Dr. Mandingo.
We went around and around for awhile until we happened upon the idea of a journal. Of course, all my favorite topics were all off limits - all except for beef.
Goddamn, I love beef.
There's really nothing you can do to fuck up a good piece of beef - other than overcooking it, of course.
One of the interns, Dylan, offers to set up this goddamn thing. Now I've got a way to kill a couple of hours a day that should be spent spent crushing enemies.
But Dr. Mandingo says health before pleasure, so here we go:
A dear friend gave me this recipe some time back. I'll give it to you just as it was given to me.
I used it for a dinner party we had with Dick and Pat Nixon back in 1976.
That damned Pat could really hold her liquor, let me tell you. She downed three bottles of the best Pinot we had. It came time to load her into the Le Sabre, Dick (the other Dick) had one arm and I had the other. She kept doing that little fall women do when they want to rub their tits on you and it was pretty obvious what was happening.
"Has anybody ever called you 'Big Dick," she whispered in my ear.
I was too embarrassed to tell her that,indeed, many people have referred to me as 'Big Dick.' At least, too embarrassed to say it in front of the old man.
1 pound sirloin tips
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon black pepper
½ teaspoon dried summer savory
all purpose flour
2 tablespoons butter
1 ½ teaspoons olive oil
1 cup dry red wine
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 ½ cups canned beef broth
Season beef tips with salt, pepper, and savory and dust lightly with flour.
Heat butter and oil together in skillet. When hot, put in seasoned beef and brown.
Whisk wine and tomato paste together and blend well. Add to beef and bring to a boil. Continue boiling until wine thickens slightly, stirring frequently, about five minutes.
Add broth, bring to a boil, lower heat, and simmer until gravy thickens, about 15 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
Serve over brown rice or mashed potatoes.
NOTE: This recipe was for braised meatballs in red-wine gravy, but die Fuhrer hates meat balls, so I did it with sirloin tips instead. I did not use salt and pepper, but seasoned the tips with season salt and garlic powder. When it was finished, I did add some salt and pepper to it. And I used red cooking wine and beef broth. The flavor was wonderful and He really liked it.
Are we running the last superpower on Earth here or a goddamned day spa? Now the Ds are back and it's all "constitutional rights" this and "habeus corpus" that. It's enough to shoot your goddamned blood pressure through the fucking roof.
It did mine.
Not that there's really anything to worry about.
The war?
Fucking piece of cake.
Economy?
Steamroller.
Republican Party?
Never fucking stronger.
As a matter of fact, I should have sixteen year old virgins walking before me throwing rose petals. Let me jot this down...
So the fucking doctors told me to find something to relieve the stress - the common, everyday stress that we all face from time to time.
"What do you like to do?" they asked.
"Rule with an iron fist."
"Too stressful," they say.
"Shoot."
"No way," say my boys in the Secret Service.
"Something to relax - really get into your own head and chill a bit," the Black guy doctor who's married to the white woman says.
Hey, I "chill" plenty, Dr. Mandingo.
We went around and around for awhile until we happened upon the idea of a journal. Of course, all my favorite topics were all off limits - all except for beef.
Goddamn, I love beef.
There's really nothing you can do to fuck up a good piece of beef - other than overcooking it, of course.
One of the interns, Dylan, offers to set up this goddamn thing. Now I've got a way to kill a couple of hours a day that should be spent spent crushing enemies.
But Dr. Mandingo says health before pleasure, so here we go:
A dear friend gave me this recipe some time back. I'll give it to you just as it was given to me.
I used it for a dinner party we had with Dick and Pat Nixon back in 1976.
That damned Pat could really hold her liquor, let me tell you. She downed three bottles of the best Pinot we had. It came time to load her into the Le Sabre, Dick (the other Dick) had one arm and I had the other. She kept doing that little fall women do when they want to rub their tits on you and it was pretty obvious what was happening.
"Has anybody ever called you 'Big Dick," she whispered in my ear.
I was too embarrassed to tell her that,indeed, many people have referred to me as 'Big Dick.' At least, too embarrassed to say it in front of the old man.
Now let me state unequivocally that nothing untoward happened between me and Pat Nixon.
Nothing.
There may have been a few phone calls with the dirty talk, but nothing ever came of it.
A fine woman, but, Jesus, I'll bet she could've sucked the chrome off a trailer hitch.
Alright, enjoy the fucking beef tips.
Kurt Waldheim's Braised Beef Tips
1 pound sirloin tips
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon black pepper
½ teaspoon dried summer savory
all purpose flour
2 tablespoons butter
1 ½ teaspoons olive oil
1 cup dry red wine
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 ½ cups canned beef broth
Season beef tips with salt, pepper, and savory and dust lightly with flour.
Heat butter and oil together in skillet. When hot, put in seasoned beef and brown.
Whisk wine and tomato paste together and blend well. Add to beef and bring to a boil. Continue boiling until wine thickens slightly, stirring frequently, about five minutes.
Add broth, bring to a boil, lower heat, and simmer until gravy thickens, about 15 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
Serve over brown rice or mashed potatoes.
NOTE: This recipe was for braised meatballs in red-wine gravy, but die Fuhrer hates meat balls, so I did it with sirloin tips instead. I did not use salt and pepper, but seasoned the tips with season salt and garlic powder. When it was finished, I did add some salt and pepper to it. And I used red cooking wine and beef broth. The flavor was wonderful and He really liked it.
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