Garlic Prime Rib

Stressful day here in the bunker.

Motherfuckers think they've got a bead on me, but they better think again. Scooter has proven himself a loyal lieutenant who will throw himself into the meat grinder to save his captain. By the time he testifies, I'll be shocked if he even knows my name.

Remember Reagan and Iran Contra?

"I don't remember."

"I can't recall."

Brilliant. And do you know whose idea it was?

I'll give you some time to think about it.

Ready?

If you guessed the Dickmeister, then you are correct. Arguably the Old Man's finest performance and he carried it all the way to the end. Jesus, what an actor.

Just between us, if he chooses to testify, Scooter's game plan is similar. Well, shit, I suppose we can say it's exactly the same.

Why fuck with success?

Anyway, as I said, it's been stressful around here, so to try and lighten the mood I had Dylan go out to find some baby powder and a paper drinking cup, then we headed for the Secretary of State's office. In a little something I learned during my days at Casper Community College, we filled the cup with baby powder and then pursed the top closed until just the lip fit nicely under her closed door with the powder-filled bottom sticking out just so.

The idea is to create something of a powder bomb, so you really need maximum stomping power to get full room penetration. With Dylan standing watch, I stomped that son of a bitch cup as hard as I could and then we hightailed it out of there.

Boy, is that bitch going to be surprised when she gets back from the Mid-East to find a fine layer of baby powder coating her office. Ha-ha.

Cunt.

Alright, on with the recipe.

Today we have something special.

When you're a successful man who's garnered more than his fair share of power, you have the opportunity to meet other big time people. You probably wouldn't understand this, but successful people like to hang around with other successful people. In 1988 I attended a small gathering with none other than Magnum himself, Mr. Tom Selleck. Now, not only is Tom Selleck a big star and a very sexy man, but he also knows beef and how to cook it. He proved quite an accommodating host and I would classify that night as a premium example of two powerful men enjoying a fantastic piece of meat.

I asked for and received his recipe and still use it to this day. I enjoying that succulent meat while fondly recalling my evening with Magnum.

Enjoy, my friend.

Magnum's Garlic Prime Rib

INGREDIENTS
1 (10 pound) prime rib roast
10 cloves garlic, minced
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons ground black pepper
2 teaspoons dried thyme

DIRECTIONS
Place the roast in a roasting pan with the fatty side up. In a small bowl, mix together the garlic, olive oil, salt, pepper and thyme. Spread the mixture over the fatty layer of the roast, and let the roast sit out until it is at room temperature, no longer than 1 hour.

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F (260 degrees C).

Bake the roast for 20 minutes in the preheated oven, then reduce the temperature to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C), and continue roasting for an additional 60 to 75 minutes. The internal temperature of the roast should be at 145 degrees F (53 degrees C) for medium rare.

Allow the roast to rest for 10 or 15 minutes before carving so the meat can retain its juices.

Note: For full effect, try serving this while wearing a Hawaiian-style shirt. May I say that it usually gets the juices flowing, if you know what I mean.