In honor of Black History Month, we ran something of a social experiment around the bunker today.
You see, I recently got another new intern, Rolando. Rolando is a Black kid from inner-city Detroit who has worked his way up through some dangerous schools, truly little more than burned-out hellholes, and into Princeton University. His dreams of Yale Law and wild thoughts of Oxford are enough to bring light to even the most hardened heart. Rolando has really pushed hard to make a life for himself and he happens to be the first Black intern I've ever had.
Dylan, my longest-tenured intern, obviously guards his position in my hierarchy quite closely, but he has gone above and beyond expectations I had of him in his work with Rolando. Dylan has offered tips and advice to the "newbie" which have obviously sped his transition to our little group.
Yesterday at lunch, Dylan spoke of how improved race relations are a result of the Cheney/Bush era. Rolando appeared somewhat incredulous, but Dylan backed up his statements with what I felt were some fairly solid pieces of reasoning. I ask you, have there been any marches in Birmingham on my watch? No, only during the failed years of expanded government under the defeatocrats in the hippie 60s.
I spoke up to back Dylan's assertions and we spent a good 25-30 minutes on the positives of race relations in Cheney America. Rolando had a few, minor offerings - most so vague that I can't recall - but he offered nothing concrete to demonstrate his belief that race still matters.
I proposed an experiment.
We went down to the den and I had the boys pull out the new 35-inch Sony television and haul it upstairs. They set it down in the foyer and then I grabbed a radio we keep in the kitchen. Giving the radio to Dylan and the television to Rolando, I told them of my experiment.
Each was to burst through the front door with his item and run as far and as fast as he could before being stopped. Rolando, again, seemed incredulous, but I assured him everything would be fine - I'm fucking Dick Cheney and people answer to me.
This was going to be an important life lesson for both boys.
I held the door for them and told them to go. They each hit the front lawn at a dead run.
Dylan, with the small radio tucked under his jacket, made very good time toward the front gate.
Rolando, on the other hand, seemed to struggle in his sprint with the 35-inch Trinitron. A somewhat slight young man, he had difficulty with the bulk and weight and strained to maintain a good sprint across the lawn.
I suppose Dylan's years of work here and his familiarity with the guards may have tilted my little experiment somewhat. He made it to the gate unaccosted.
Rolando, however, was ordered to halt. Failing to do so in a timely manner, he was brought down with tasers. I believe he must have had 4 different officers tasering him at one point.
They really let that little son of a bitch have it.
He got up and started blabbing, of course, about how he was an intern of mine and that I had ordered him to do this, but no one believed him. I got a call within the residence several minutes later asking to verify the story, but after my little hunting accident last year, I don't need any additional distractions. I denied the entire affair and they hauled Rolando away in cuffs, bruised and bloodied.
My poor Trinitron, unfortunately, lay on the lawn in hundreds of shattered pieces.
I'll dock that out of his pay.
My point is this: there was a time when a Black man running with a television set would have been gunned down without warning. We don't do that anymore. Rolando was brought down with tasers.
Is that an improvement, or what?
Race relations in this country have never been better.
Rolando will make his way through the system, I'm sure. I doubt that Yale Law is in his future and he can sure as fuck forget about Oxford. Hell, Princeton probably won't even allow him back in, but he'll be okay. I mean, jesus, I'm a Caspar Community College guy and look how far I've come.
Rolando's going to be alright.
Probably.
Unlike my 35-inch Sony Trinitron.
On to today's recipe.
I'm a regular for meals with this guy. Let me tell you, he knows a little something about beef - especially for a Chinaman.
The Reverend Sun Myung Moon and I go back a ways. We came to know him through his association with the Bush syndicate. He's donated plenty of cold hard cash to the cause and I've got him looking into my little issue with the Dark Lord. He thinks he can get me out of the deal, but it's not going to be easy. Right now, all of my eggs are in his basket, so let's hope he doesn't fuck it up.
Anyway, he stirs up a mean plate of beef whatnot and after a recent meal I asked for the recipe. His writing's a little hard to decipher, but I think the following is pretty close to ballpark for his intended instructions.
1 1/4 pounds boneless beef top round or top sirloin steak, cut 1-inch thick
Heat 1 tablespoon oil in large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until hot.
Heat remaining oil in same skillet over medium-high heat until hot. Drain beef, discarding marinade. Stir-fry 1/2 of beef 1 to 2 minutes or until outside surface of beef is no longer pink. (Do not overcook.) Remove. Repeat with remaining beef.
Makes 4 servings.
You see, I recently got another new intern, Rolando. Rolando is a Black kid from inner-city Detroit who has worked his way up through some dangerous schools, truly little more than burned-out hellholes, and into Princeton University. His dreams of Yale Law and wild thoughts of Oxford are enough to bring light to even the most hardened heart. Rolando has really pushed hard to make a life for himself and he happens to be the first Black intern I've ever had.
Dylan, my longest-tenured intern, obviously guards his position in my hierarchy quite closely, but he has gone above and beyond expectations I had of him in his work with Rolando. Dylan has offered tips and advice to the "newbie" which have obviously sped his transition to our little group.
Yesterday at lunch, Dylan spoke of how improved race relations are a result of the Cheney/Bush era. Rolando appeared somewhat incredulous, but Dylan backed up his statements with what I felt were some fairly solid pieces of reasoning. I ask you, have there been any marches in Birmingham on my watch? No, only during the failed years of expanded government under the defeatocrats in the hippie 60s.
I spoke up to back Dylan's assertions and we spent a good 25-30 minutes on the positives of race relations in Cheney America. Rolando had a few, minor offerings - most so vague that I can't recall - but he offered nothing concrete to demonstrate his belief that race still matters.
I proposed an experiment.
We went down to the den and I had the boys pull out the new 35-inch Sony television and haul it upstairs. They set it down in the foyer and then I grabbed a radio we keep in the kitchen. Giving the radio to Dylan and the television to Rolando, I told them of my experiment.
Each was to burst through the front door with his item and run as far and as fast as he could before being stopped. Rolando, again, seemed incredulous, but I assured him everything would be fine - I'm fucking Dick Cheney and people answer to me.
This was going to be an important life lesson for both boys.
I held the door for them and told them to go. They each hit the front lawn at a dead run.
Dylan, with the small radio tucked under his jacket, made very good time toward the front gate.
Rolando, on the other hand, seemed to struggle in his sprint with the 35-inch Trinitron. A somewhat slight young man, he had difficulty with the bulk and weight and strained to maintain a good sprint across the lawn.
I suppose Dylan's years of work here and his familiarity with the guards may have tilted my little experiment somewhat. He made it to the gate unaccosted.
Rolando, however, was ordered to halt. Failing to do so in a timely manner, he was brought down with tasers. I believe he must have had 4 different officers tasering him at one point.
They really let that little son of a bitch have it.
He got up and started blabbing, of course, about how he was an intern of mine and that I had ordered him to do this, but no one believed him. I got a call within the residence several minutes later asking to verify the story, but after my little hunting accident last year, I don't need any additional distractions. I denied the entire affair and they hauled Rolando away in cuffs, bruised and bloodied.
My poor Trinitron, unfortunately, lay on the lawn in hundreds of shattered pieces.
I'll dock that out of his pay.
My point is this: there was a time when a Black man running with a television set would have been gunned down without warning. We don't do that anymore. Rolando was brought down with tasers.
Is that an improvement, or what?
Race relations in this country have never been better.
Rolando will make his way through the system, I'm sure. I doubt that Yale Law is in his future and he can sure as fuck forget about Oxford. Hell, Princeton probably won't even allow him back in, but he'll be okay. I mean, jesus, I'm a Caspar Community College guy and look how far I've come.
Rolando's going to be alright.
Probably.
Unlike my 35-inch Sony Trinitron.
On to today's recipe.
I'm a regular for meals with this guy. Let me tell you, he knows a little something about beef - especially for a Chinaman.
The Reverend Sun Myung Moon and I go back a ways. We came to know him through his association with the Bush syndicate. He's donated plenty of cold hard cash to the cause and I've got him looking into my little issue with the Dark Lord. He thinks he can get me out of the deal, but it's not going to be easy. Right now, all of my eggs are in his basket, so let's hope he doesn't fuck it up.
Anyway, he stirs up a mean plate of beef whatnot and after a recent meal I asked for the recipe. His writing's a little hard to decipher, but I think the following is pretty close to ballpark for his intended instructions.
Rev. Moon's Asian Beef and Broccoli
1 1/4 pounds boneless beef top round or top sirloin steak, cut 1-inch thick
2 (3-ounce each) packages Oriental-flavored instant ramen noodles, broken up
1 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch dissolved in 1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 pound broccoli florets
2 medium carrots, thinly sliced
1 teaspoon grated orange rind (optional)
Cut beef steak lengthwise in half, then crosswise into 1/8-inch thick strips. Combine seasoning from ramen noodles with cornstarch mixture in large bowl. Add beef; toss.
Cut beef steak lengthwise in half, then crosswise into 1/8-inch thick strips. Combine seasoning from ramen noodles with cornstarch mixture in large bowl. Add beef; toss.
Heat 1 tablespoon oil in large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until hot.
Stir-fry broccoli and carrots 1 minute. Add noodles and 1 1/2 cups water; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer 3 to 5 minutes or until vegetables are tender and most of liquid is absorbed, stirring occasionally. Remove; keep warm.
Heat remaining oil in same skillet over medium-high heat until hot. Drain beef, discarding marinade. Stir-fry 1/2 of beef 1 to 2 minutes or until outside surface of beef is no longer pink. (Do not overcook.) Remove. Repeat with remaining beef.
Serve over noodles. Sprinkle with orange rind.
Makes 4 servings.
Note: Revered Moon has quite the Messianic Complex. If you're ever served by the good reverend, you can make big points by offering compliments like, "Mmmm - better than Jesus could have done." He really gets off on that.
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