Bloomin' Onion

Australia is an inherently fucked-up nation.

Being accustomed to things working a certain way, one expects them to continue sans interruption.

Post morning constitutional, I flushed and the goddamn water starts swirling around counter-clockwise. Aware of this southern hemisphere phenomenon, but never having witnessed it, I was struck by the oddity of the damned thing. I stared at it long enough to give myself a severe case of vertigo and the next thing I know I'm on the floor and Dr. Mandingo is coming at me with the defibrillator again.

Such are the hazards of life.

Well, being on the road, we decided to live it up a little last night, to go out and sample some of the native fare, as it were. Dylan chose our dining locale and we opted for a little place called 'The Outback Steakhouse.' (Note: The 'Outback' is a region in Australia. It is also a Subaru. With a fair degree of certainty, I believe this reference is to the outback in Australia.) I suppose even the Aussies can't fuck up a good piece of meat as there were several acceptable selections available. My beef landed squarely in the 'quite edible, but not truly outstanding' range, still I recommend that upon visiting Australia give 'The Outback Steakhouse' a shot. Nothing lets you see life among the natives better than a visit to their local watering holes.

You can also get your hands on a tremendous artifact of fried deliciosity. Dylan spotted a delightful appetizer hidden on the menu - a local eccentricity referred to as a 'Blooming Onion,' although it seems the Aussies purposely drop the 'g' and it becomes the 'Bloomin' Onion' - was the inadvertent story of the meal.

Once into it, I couldn't resist.

Mandingo continued to "advise" me against eating this tasty dish (cholesterol, cholesterol, cholesterol), but it was a succulent treat and I refused to stop until the damn thing was gone.

I asked for the recipe and was initially rebuffed, but there's no saying 'no' to a couple of Secret Service men armed with tasers.

So, here for your enjoyment is our first non-beef recipe.

Australia's Bloomin' Onion

Ingredients:
1/3 cup Cornstarch -- more if needed

1 1/2 cup Flour
2 teaspoons Garlic -- mince

2 teaspoons Paprika

1 teaspoon Salt

1 teaspoon Pepper

24 ounces Beer

4 Sweet Vidalia Onions

2 cups Flour

4 teaspoons Paprika

2 teaspoons Garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon Pepper

1/4 teaspoon Cayenne Creamy chili sauce

1 pint Mayonnaise1 pint Sour cream

1/2 cup Tomato chili sauce

1/2 teaspoon Cayenne

Directions:

Mix cornstarch, flour and seasonings until well blended.

Add beer, mix well.
Cut about 3/4" off top of onion and peel.
Cut into onion 12 to 16 vertical wedges but do not cut through bottom root end.
Remove about 1" of petals from center of onion.
Dip onion in seasoned flour and remove excess by shaking.
Separate petals to coat thoroughly with batter.
Gently place in fryer basket and deep-fry at 375F to 400F 1-1/2 minutes.
Turn over and fry 1-1/2 minutes longer or until golden brown.
Drain on paper towels.
Place onion upright in shallow bowl and remove center core with circular cutter or apple corer.

Serve hot with Creamy Chili Sauce.

SEASONED FLOUR

Combine flour, paprika, garlic powder, pepper and cayenne and mix well.

CREAMY CHILI SAUCE

Combine mayo, sour cream, chili sauce and cayenne and mix well.

This recipe for The Outback Bloomin' Onion serves 4 (although Dylan, Mandingo and I made short work of this one by ourselves.)

Note: Rolaids can help determine the difference between heart attack and heartburn.