Beef Chili

A word of warning on this Lovefest Day, my friends:

Be careful out there.

Sure, we're all birddogging tail today and a few of us will be quite successful in bagging our limits. Dick Cheney lives by these words - 'get in, get off, get gone.'

Why?

The feeding frenzy when powerful men are discovered in compromising positions is not pretty. Better that you take care of business and move along, no lingering.

We have the strange propensity, like firebugs, to return to the scene of our misdeeds and gaze upon our conquests. This urge I have, by and large, overcome and strongly suggest that you do the same.

Let's use that cocksucker Karl Rove as an example.

Now, nobody likes the son of a bitch and I mean nobody. He's an open wound on the soul of humanity, but the Cheer Captain likes having him around, so the bastard stays. Not long ago, Rove's love interest, one Jeff 'Gannon' Guckert, causes a stir in the press room. Rove sets the fucker up in there as a 'journalist,' I suppose as some sort of boyfriend favor.

Jesus.

Jeff Gannon Guckert is to journalism as I am to Buddhism.

So, Gannon Guckert is outed as a man whore and I figure that Rove is done. I mean, I caught him teabagging 'Gannon' Guckert in an East Wing broom closet. We have a little party in the OVP, then the fucker skates through untouched.

Where was the special prosecutor looking into the matter? Rove's Mastercharge records would have finished the bastard. Every fucking charge on the goddamn thing is either to Applebee's or Hot Military Stud.com. I know, I've seen it.

Anyway, back to my point, discretion is your finest ally.

Don't put your man whore on display for the world to see.

I suppose Clinton would have made a better example, but we all know that story.

Anyway, today we celebrate one of the foundations of the beef world - chili.

A few weeks ago,a good friend and I were sitting around, as good men will, discussing the current sad state of affairs. We had a disagreement on what were truly the salad days for this continent - he said 1752; I said 1744.

We agreed to disagree, but set our sights on turning this nation back to those glorious times.

And then we had big bowls of chili.

Antonin Scalia's Beef Chili

INGREDIENTS
2 pounds ground beef
4 (14.5 ounce) cans kidney beans
4 (15 ounce) cans diced tomatoes
1 (12 fluid ounce) bottle beer
1 (12 ounce) bottle tomato-based chili sauce
1 large white onion, chopped
6 cloves garlic, minced
2 tablespoons chili seasoning
1 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon hot sauce
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

DIRECTIONS
Place the ground beef in a large pot and cook over medium heat until evenly brown. Drain off the excess fat.

Mix in the kidney beans, diced tomatoes, beer, chili sauce, onion, garlic, chili seasoning, black pepper, garlic powder, onion, cayenne pepper, oregano, sugar, hot sauce, and Worcestershire sauce. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, and simmer for about 4 hours, stirring occasionally.

Note: Ginsberg has promised Scalia that if she has to sit through another day after his pots of chili, she's quitting. Keep your fingers crossed.

He's making it this weekend.