A Nation Cries Out

The calls for President Dick grow louder daily.

I understand the need for leadership in times like these and recognize that there is no single embodiment of bold, decisive, exciting, cocksure manliness alive right now than Dick Cheney - except, perhaps, for my good friend, Tom 'Magnum' Selleck.

Ridding the nation of this frat boy presidency would allow for a reassertion of presidential power the likes of which we have never seen. Perhaps the less said about that, the better. Assuming power now, coupled with my 'victory' in the '08 election followed by the landslide in '12, gives me time to punish our enemies in a deep and meaningful way.

I hear the voices calling for Dick. I sense the rising tide.

Patience, my friends, patience, Big Dick hears you.

Good times in the offing.